(no subject)

"Strange how things turned out." I say more to myself then anything. She then went on to tell me that I will hate her for what she did "Whatever could it have been that would make me hate you?" I move closer towards her grabbing a hold of her hand "Because Shannon there is nothing possible that could make me hate you, you’re stuck with me."

Those were the last words I heard before darkness came. I could hear them rushing around me, Sayid fighting with Jack to be near me, and faint whispers. If I could have I would have panicked, I would have tried to run, but I couldn’t do that, all I could do is lay here in darkness and listen to the panic around me. That is until even that changed.

The darkness wasn’t the only thing that overtook me now. No, now darkness and silence, all overpowering my body and all I could do was lay still, and hope that I am not actually dead. I don’t know how long it had been, how long I had been in this dark silence, but when light returned to me I was in a strange place and I couldn’t move at all.

“Sayid?” I call out desperate for help, for explanation of what was wrong with me. “I can’t move.”
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    contemplative contemplative

(no subject)

I had lost count of the days, the days since the plane crashed and my life changed. It wasn't as if I was doing anything vital with my life anyway, but when a plane splits into a couple pieces and crash lands into the ocean it kind of puts a damper on the rest of your life's plans.

Mind you it isn't like I was a famous surgeon or whatever, but I still know stuff. Had it not been for me they wouldn't have ever figured out what was being said on that transmission, so why is it that everyone looks at me like I am a loser? Ok not everyone; there is one person on this island who doesn't, Sayid. He seems to have made it his mission to make me believe in myself, but when he finds out the things that I did, what I did even to him, he will leave me too so, I don't get too attached. Ok so maybe it's, I try not to get too attached.

Now that I have the time, when I look back over the last…how ever many days we have been on this island, the things that I have done, until Boone was murdered I only did them to spite him. I know that he felt that he always had to save me, but he couldn't. No one can, not even the stubborn Sayid. Maybe that's yet another reason why I keep pushing him away.

It doesn't matter though, none of that matters anymore. What matters is that this damn island is going to be the thing that finally killed me.

It was supposed to be a nice night, one where I could at least relax and then the kid had to appear. I know I saw him, everyone thinks I am insane and seeing things, but I saw him, soaking wet, water pouring off of him, and speaking…well I don't know what he was saying. The thing is, the kid was supposed to be on the boat, with Sawyer, Michael, and Jin. So why is he appearing here in front of me?

Part of me believed I was going insane, but couldn't admit it. I can still hear myself begging Sayid to believe me, he told me that he believed me, but I don't know. The last time I trusted a man for anything more than a means to survive was when…well when I was married and we see how well that worked out.

I have a feeling that none of this matters anyway, it is almost as if I can feel myself dying and this time even Sayid can't save me. I wish he could, I want him to be the one man who proves me wrong, but I won't ever admit that to him.

Maybe if I do survive this he can tell me what happened. All I remember is it was raining, and Walt appeared said something, but not sure what, then I was chasing him. I know I ran past some people, not sure who, but when I passed them is when I felt the pain. A sharp pain in my back and then it all went black.

Maybe this is my punishment for all the things I have done my whole life. Not only do I find a man who can tolerate me, but I don't get to spend enough time with him to see if he really would stay. This was my punishment, to survive a plane crash only to die who knows how many days later.
in rain with shannon

This can't be happening

“I’ve worse things to fear than what’s in the jungle. What I did today…What I almost did… I swore to do never again. If I can’t keep that promise, I have no right to be here.”

I was a solider once and I did terrible things, things I'd much rather take back. I swore I'd never do them again but I found myself doing them on this Island. Of course I had a reasonable explanation for them, a girl needed her inhaler and the only way to get it was to do those things. It wasn't until later that I found out Sawyer didn't even have the inhalers. That was when I left. What I found was more valuable then anything at the time. I found the French woman from the transmission, Danielle Rousseau. After I learned what I need to I returned to our camp. But I heard something in the jungle, whispers. That is when I first knew for a fact that we were not alone.

While I was in Danielle’s hideout I took her map that I found. There were French words written all over it, so I got Shannon to help me translate. Something started to happen between the two of us and we started to develop more then just friendly feelings.

I follow her into the jungle “Are you okay?”

“Do not help me up! “

“Let's go back. “

“Why don't you believe me? I need you to believe in me.”

“I do believe in you.”

“You don't! No-one does. They think that I'm some kind of joke. They think I'm worthless. “

The words that just came out of her mouth were very untrue. How could anyone think she was worthless, because she wasn’t. “Shannon you are not worthless.” I reply to her comment with a sincere voice.

“You say that now, but you don't... You're just gonna leave me. I know as soon as we get out of here you're just going to leave me.”

I look her deep in the eyes placing my hand on her cheek; “I will never leave you. I love you. I believe you.” I needed her to know how I felt, I knew that I loved her. In that very moment I knew. I loved everything about her and all that she was. She may not see it but it was true, Shannon truly was a wonderful individual.

“You do?” She questions me.

“I do.” She smiles at me and I hold I hold her tight. But then that’s when we saw him. We both saw Walt this time, I was shocked for a moment for seeing what was not possible. Before I could do anything Shannon took off after him. There was no way this could be, Walt was on the boot with Michael, Sawyer and Jin.

I quickly took off after her and that's when I heard it, the gun shot filling the air. I quicken my pace even more and run towards the sound of the gun and that’s when I see her. Laying in the mud with blood. Fear fills me as I slide down onto the ground next to her. I don't pay attention to anything around me, nothing mattered by her. Taking her in my arms I pull her to my chest "Shannon." I say in a frantic voice. I could start to feel a few tears form in my eyes. I pull her away from me a bit to see the wound. She was still alive and just maybe Jack could save her. He had to save her, I couldn't have come this far just to lose her.